how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
