And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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