I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
i need some magic done to my vagina
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
