is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
