Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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