I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
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