YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
