so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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