AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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