Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
