i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Randomize
