I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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