office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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