Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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