so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
