If i come over, it means nothing
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
