this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize