i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
