no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
