so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize