I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
