Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
BRING THE BAGELS
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
