i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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