That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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