we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
