Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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