Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
oh god was she eating orange peels again
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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