I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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