her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
