i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
