we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
