btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize