apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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