You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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