do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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