You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
