YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
