It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
