My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
