we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Dick very happy bro
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
