apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I enjoy the company of your penis
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
