Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
