I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
