If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
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