Its about making memories worth repressing
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
