So drunk its hurt
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize