She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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