The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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