So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
