Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
