So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
