its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
