The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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