Joe is yelling at the trees again.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
