please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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