Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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