I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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