I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Where did you get a picture of my penis
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
