Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize