i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
