Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize