I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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