Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
