I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
